Thinking of Quitting Aikido? - Read this first!

If you practise Aikido for long enough, you’ll notice a pattern. People come and go. Some arrive full of enthusiasm and then disappear a few months later. Others leave unexpectedly, even those you were certain would train forever.

Eventually, if you stay on the path long enough, you’ll probably find yourself asking the same question they did:

Should I quit?

At some point in every Aikido journey, things become difficult. Progress is never a straight line. There are peaks and troughs. You might hit a wall where it feels as though you’re making no progress whatsoever. The excitement of discovering something new gradually fades, and Aikido becomes less of a novelty and more of a commitment.

Your circumstances change

Life changes too. Perhaps you start a family, meet a new partner, change careers, go through a divorce, or find yourself caring for someone else. There will always be reasons why training becomes more difficult.

Whatever your reason, it will feel completely justified. You’ll tell yourself you’ll come back when life settles down. The trouble is, life rarely settles down. There is always another responsibility, another commitment or another excuse waiting around the corner.

Your practice is something you do for yourself, but you’ve also made a commitment to your club and your training partners. They need you just as much as you need them. A dojo is a community, and everyone contributes to the atmosphere in ways they often don’t realise.

In reality, Aikido only asks for a few hours each week. When you think about it, most of us probably lose far more time each day scrolling through social media or distracting ourselves with things that leave no lasting benefit.

Putting yourself under the microscope

If you’re practising Aikido in the spirit that O-Sensei intended, sooner or later you’ll be forced to examine yourself honestly. This is probably one of the main reasons it becomes difficult.

Training continually exposes the image you have of yourself.

You’ll discover habits, assumptions and weaknesses that you’d probably rather ignore. Sometimes your teacher’s correction isn’t what you want to hear. Sometimes your training partners expose gaps in your understanding without saying a word.

It can be uncomfortable, but staying with that discomfort develops something far more valuable than technical ability. It develops resilience. Over time you cultivate a quiet determination that extends far beyond the dojo. The setbacks that once upset you no longer carry the same weight. Situations that once provoked frustration gradually lose their grip. You become a little steadier, a little calmer and a little less controlled by circumstance.

The grading trap

Some people become trapped in a grading mindset. In certain clubs, grades and rankings begin to overshadow keiko itself. The next belt becomes the goal, and training becomes little more than preparation for the next examination.

But once you’ve achieved the grade, the satisfaction is often surprisingly short-lived. Before long you’re chasing the next one. Achievement alone isn’t the source of lasting happiness.

The same trap exists outside the dojo. We imagine the next promotion, the next house, the next holiday or the next achievement will finally make us content. Yet satisfaction quickly fades, and another goal takes its place. Aikido simply gives us the opportunity to observe this pattern more clearly.

So what can you do if frustration begins to build and thoughts of quitting arise? The answer is surprisingly simple….train more.

Not because more training automatically makes you better, but because absence rarely solves the problems that practice reveals!

Withdrawing from training only strengthens the illusion that the problem lies with Aikido itself.

Instead, throw yourself more fully into your practice. Be present. Train sincerely. Become immersed in the process rather than standing outside it, judging it.

Secondly, notice that the thoughts telling you to quit are simply thoughts. The mind is an excellent storyteller. It can produce convincing reasons to continue and equally convincing reasons to stop. But thoughts are not who you are. They arise, they stay for a while, and eventually they disappear. You don’t have to believe them.

One of the greatest lessons Aikido can offer is learning not to become entangled in the constant stream of mental chatter. Let the thoughts come and go without turning them into a story. Simply return your attention to the practice unfolding in front of you. This points towards a much deeper question about who you really are - but that’s a conversation for another day.

Finally, perhaps you’ve trained for a while and realised that Aikido isn’t what you imagined it would be…Good!

It probably isn’t.

Maybe you imagined becoming someone who could effortlessly throw anyone who attacked you. Perhaps you expected to collect techniques, grades or impressive demonstrations of skill. Then reality arrived.

If your original ideas about Aikido are beginning to fall apart, that’s often a sign that genuine practice has begun. You’re starting to let go of your assumptions and encounter the art as it really is, rather than as you imagined it to be.

So if you’re thinking about quitting, don’t make the decision today. Go to your next class. Bow onto the mat. Practise with complete sincerity. Then go to the class after that.

One day you’ll look back and realise the hardest periods of your training weren’t obstacles at all. They were the moments that quietly transformed both your Aikido and yourself.

If you practise sincerely for long enough, your understanding of Aikido won’t be the only thing that changes. Your understanding of yourself will begin to change too. And that may be the most valuable lesson of all.